Ok.. well this one is one i was feeling on yesterday,,, wasnt the best time of my life yestaday.so yea. this is cyniclism at its best;

i was not made for paper,
i was not made for noose,
i was not made for sadness,
i was not made for 'coos',
i was not made for teardrops,
but i deal anyway.

i was not made for sadly sermons,
i was not made for cries,
i was not made for mourning,
i was not made for lies,
i was not made for broken promises,
but i deal anyway.

i was not made for 'reality'
cause it doesn't match mine own,
i was not made for trying,
cause i believe in doing,
i was not made for lifelessness,
cause then i would not exist,
i was not made for rejections,
cause then i would not learn,
i was not made for lovelessness,
cause then i could not yearn,
for your love,
whomever you may be,
i will love in turn,
you , then my own,
i will plant the seed,
that will blossom,
with knowledge of living life,
with intelligence that will grow.

Apathetism disgusts me. well, you might understand, dear unlucky reader, cause that would mark me as a hypocrite. Please dont mistake my poems as declaring myself emo, you should realise that real aspiration is hard to come by these days unless you are put in the mood and thats hard to come by 'specialy without the daily orgasms. >.< .  Im not truly emo; im loud, a bitch, apathetic to most ppl's yells of dis-affection, but always an astute statue with (im told) a comfy shoulder to cry on. Now all thats missing is the basin at my feet for the tears to be caught up and collected in. I just like writing about depth in desperation no matter in what way.

• "shes a nasty taste in my mouth, that has fused itself to my tastebud and refuses to be cut out "
• "Im the ragdoll you decide to toss out, and when you miss me you pull me back, and then I know I wont ever be free, til you decide."

                                                        - Ayzel, -05

I feel like a RagDoll,

Discard me and throw me away,

but once you want me,

I'll never get away.

 My Death

I see my death

as it flashes in my mind.

I welcome it.

I sit in my tub

my skin red ,

smooth,

like that of a newborn.

Its only a flash but oh so warm in my heart.

My head is back,

my neck stiff.

The vision was beautiful,

so beautiful.

I am lain in the water like a lilly flower.

My death was awesome.

perfected with thought and careful calculation

To bad i can't do not when someone still loves me.

*~Amaya~*